There's no space for men to talk about man to man sexual feelings in any real or healthy or positive way, in the mainstream heterosexualised men's spaces. The only space they have to talk about it is negatively. And when boys are dealing with their intense same-sex needs, when it comes popping up, and they need to crush it time and again, and they need to talk about it when these feelings bother them, then they can only do it negatively. And so, they keep talking about it negatively. Its always on their mind.
Like this college freind of mine, who I know has an intense sexual need for men... He is always making fun of 'gay', always talking about it in a funny manner, "like saying, "haw, are you gay that you are sitting so close?" or "Look at those gays" when he sees two men holding hands. Its damn funny at that time. But, it takes away whatever little space is left in the heterosexualised spaces. This guy does this too much.
Also, this guy is a bit soft. I think he would fit in gay very much... But the other guy who is masculine and I know has an intense interest in men, and hardly any in women, but nevertheless tries to prove it all the time, he does't like to talk about 'gay' at all, and in fact gets pissed off with the other guy doing it too much. However, when he needs to talk about it (negatively of course), then he is really mean, hostile and threatening. Then it looks like he really means harm, and that he believes in what he is saying. He probably does. Inspite of his own feelings, which he will never acknolwedge, unless he somehow gets the courage and develops his natural mahoood.
Men must be trained, not to talk about 'gay' at all, since they can't talk positively about it. Till the time that we can find a way of finding a space to talk about man to man sexual need without forcing the gay label on it, within the straight/ men's spaces.
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