Battered men get their own refuge

Jamie Doward, social affairs editor

Sunday December 21, 2003

The Observer

Britain's first safe house for battered men is to open in secret over the New Year. The refuge, in south-west England, will shelter men and their children who have been physically or emotionally abused by a female partner.

A second centre will open early next year in north-west England, and organisers plan to create a national network eventually.

The revelation of the refuges is likely to reignite the debate over the true picture of domestic abuse, which men's support groups say is far more complex than is often portrayed in the media.

According to the most recent British Crime Survey, for 1996, 4.2 per cent of men and an equal proportion of women said they had been assaulted by a current or former partner in the previous year. In those incidents involving injury just under 50 per cent of women were hurt, and 31 per cent of men.

The survey found that 23 per cent of women and 15 per cent of men aged between 16 and 59 said they had been physically assaulted by a partner at some time.

Men's rights groups argue, however, that the male figure could be even higher because men are reluctant to admit being victims. They say at least one in every six incidents of domestic violence - around 18 per cent - are committed by women on men.

'At the last count there were 426 shelters for women in Britain. That means there should be at least 70 refuges for men. Yet up until now there was none,' said David Hughes, editor of Male View magazine, which represents the views of the charity Mankind Initiative.

Hughes hoped the shelter idea would take off. 'Once the first centre has opened and it's proved useful others are bound to follow. We're trying to get financing to have a refuge in each region,' Hughes said.

Ian Hancock, the NHS director of psychological services in Dumfries and Galloway and an expert on domestic abuse, said: 'It's difficult for anybody if they're being battered but with men their problem is compounded by the fact that they feel they shouldn't allow themselves to be battered by a woman.

'The idea that it makes you some kind of weakling means it's a double whammy for men. It affects their self-esteem,' Hancock said.

Many myths attached to the issue needed to be dismantled, Hancock said. 'People have this image of muscular women and weedy men but size has got nothing to do with it. A man can be twice the size of his female partner and still be battered by her.'

The crime survey acknowledged that a significant number of men believe the Government is failing to take the issue of domestic abuse against them seriously. 'Male victims of domestic violence are particularly unhappy about the level of support offered by agencies, especially by the police,' it noted.

'It may be that support agencies have a particular problem in recognising that male victims can be just as in need of support and advice as female victims.'

Steve Fitzgerald, who helped set up the new shelter in the south-west, said: 'This is a major breakthrough. Women are just as likely to commit violence in the home as men. For too long there has been this gender apartheid which has meant this important issue has been ignored.'

The new refuge, which is already sheltering two battered men, has a family bedroom, a living room, access to a bathroom and kitchen and is staffed by volunteers.

It was welcomed by David Smith, 46, who has three small children. 'I've been emotionally abused by my wife since I married her over six years ago. People see her in public and think she's wonderful, but they don't see the private side to her,' he said.

'I didn't see her angry temper until we were married. It's awful. She loses her temper a lot and uses foul language in front of the children. You can't stop her once she's started. I've asked her to go for counselling but she won't.

'I have to leave the house and take the children with me. Sometimes she hits me but I'm a lot stronger than her. I'm trained in martial arts so it's not a problem physically. We're still living together but I'm losing hope.'

While the shelter's focus is on helping men, its founders stress the help it can give to child victims of domestic abuse. 'Sixty-four per cent of child abuse is committed by mothers,' Hughes said.

Nicola Harwin, director of the charity Women's Aid, disputed some of the claims made about abuse of men and called for more work on the way the figures are collected.

Her group 'doesn't condone domestic violence against anybody. But the majority of research is quite clear: in an overwhelming number of cases domestic violence in the home is committed by men,' Harwin said.

An increasing awareness of violence on men should not make people lose sight of the fact that women's refuges were underfunded. The country needed one for every 10,000 people in the UK - 'but currently we have less than half we require', she added.

(Source: the Observer)